There’s no love without pain,
No Union
Without separation..
Everything comes with its
Opposite,
It’s a learning experience
For those of us who want to fly,
A master in our house,
Starving us with patience
Feeding us again…
Live in ur own planet,
In ur own head,
Live by universal rules only,
Live ur dream,
Awaken!
Be ur own dictator,
motivator,
Ur own judge and jury,
Live with fury!
Talk to ur many selves,
Meet their different faces,
Reset their paces,
Take them to Different places,
Give them Warm wishes and tight embraces…
We are ideas made in flesh,
We are ideas who give birth to other ideas,
In this alone we excel and suffer,
In this alone we become larger than ourselves…
U know the world is flawed, big time,
Has always been,
And will most probably remain for a while…
What makes the world flawed is the behavior of people,
These monkeys in suits,
Programmed to take, to hurt, to lie, to kill…
Programmed to respect nothing,
Programmed to use u and abuse u, don’t be like them..
U know the masses are dumb,
Don’t follow them,
u know their behaviour, don’t copy it
be impermeable to their state of mind,
Don’t imitate their reactions,
Don’t follow and Don’t belong…
Don’t belong to the majority,
Instead,
belong to the few who are like u, Real.
Belong to the universe,
To the unspoken…
to the silence within your infinite mind
Belong to the dream u have…
Be the right u, the giver,
The giver of truth,
Give time,
Give of urself…
to be a rebel,
against social rules, social fools
conformity breeds claustrophobia,
paranoia,
restraining, castrating,
caging,
putting man on a leash…
stripping him from his most basic need,
to love,
unconditionally,
to live,
without fear of not meeting social expectations,
social limitations…
imitations of imitations..
what brings happiness is,
total freedom,
freedom to love, to live, to give love,
to give birth without rules,
to fall in and out of love without social issues of,
contracts and divorce,
ownership and possession,
away from the rule of obligation,
and self negation…
Painting in the skin has always been one of the most intensely magical things humanity has ever experienced on a collective and individual level.
Tattoos defy age by retaining the same energy and vibe that was put into them at the time of their making.
In another sense, it is a conscious individual effort at bettering the self, and enhancing the body by capturing a dream in an image, an idea in a word,
and a lifetime love affair with the self.
The self exists in two forms: one in harmony with the world and the other in defiance of the world. The tattoo expresses both at the same time,
it is a love affair with the self and at war with time, and time only exists in our minds…
There is no love affair without war…
There is no music without silence between the notes,
In a world where shit and honey exist side by side, where birth and decay rule the day, we exist as living proof that the duality of the universe
also resides within us and manifests itself in the endlessly opposing adjectives that define who we are as (in)dividuals…
we are the funnel through which the universe transforms abstract ideas into the material form, and ideas are as infinite as there are means to express them,
materialize them, and breathe life into them…
Nothing, in this life, is more nurturing to the human soul but the ability to create, to reshape the earth,
with art and beauty, to weave, to sow and to reap
the joy of reshaping self and body…
Fire in the blood,
Metal in the brain,
Thunder ruling the skies,
Raging waves and Furious winds,
And in the middle of this I stand
immersed to the bone yet,
Utterly detached…
Feb 20, 2015
Broken?
Broken is an idea
An idea to which U have attached a meaning,
That meaning is like a dress,
And u wore it for so long..
It’s time now,
To take off that dress and,
Admire what u are underneath,
You will see, after some examination,
That you are whole and,
Perfectly unbroken…
human or divine?
a fleeting whisper in the wind,
an impact upon first sight,
do you hide beneath your skin?
flaming hearts in the mist,
collecting men on the list,
defying gravity with your elegance,
smiling brightly at every chance,
come closer woman and don’t pretend
that you don’t see what is clear as day.
if God is time,
and time is god
and we make the time,
therefore we make the kind of god with the choices we make to bring about a certain type of time.
who rules the moment?
who rules the collection of moments we call the present?
the rulers of this moment are the thoughts we possess at any particular moment (or the thoughts that possess us!)
who rules the now?
the thought of the moment.
each thought or collection of thoughts make up the god of the moment.
the collection of gods of the moment make up for the global god of the moment.
who is the global god of the moment?
in other words, which god of the moment is receiving the most amount of thoughts?
thoughts as adjectives,
adjectives as metaphors,
metaphors as the real sculptors of reality,
reality, is a metaphor.
a metaphor is a story,
a story is mental,
what’s metal is fiction,
fiction is imaginary,
imagination comes from thoughts,
thoughts come from others,
others come from the same pool we come from,
the pool is the mind,
the mind as an engine,
an engine with a reservoir,
a reservoir of thoughts,
thoughts from the air,
the air is space,
space is void,
the void is never empty,
emptiness is fullness,
fullness is lack of space,
stop.
again,
again is a cycle,
life is a cycle,
everything in life is a cycle,
day and night,
the repetitive change of season,
the cycle of the tide,
the list is endless…
a cycle,
a spiral,
an orbit,
an orbit around an axis,
an axis,
the axis is the self,
the i
look at it: the ‘i’ is a vertical line,
an axis around which all cycles orbit,
cycles of wellness and cycles of illness,
the days and the nights,
the winters and the deserts,
the summers and the springs,
and the fountains….
and the flowers,
and the storms…
alright.
what next?
… another cycle….
And nothing but metal fills the intensity,
The intensity in the mind,
The intensity is life,
Life alive..
Then comes the moment of truth,
Should I share with you or should I not,
The greatest seduction lies in the question mark,
The unknown that has seduced a god..
So I come home,
To my cat and dog,
Or dog and cat,
And my head is filled with stories,
Of good and bad,
There is no good and bad,
There is only a seat belt.
So the dog plays with the cat,
And eternity is but an idea
An idea in the mind
A mind thriving on speed,
Speed is intensity
Intensity is life
Life is action
Action is adventure,
adventure is feeling alive,
feeling alive is happiness,
happiness is energy,
energy is power and ability,
power and ability mean freedom,
freedom means choice,
choice is unlimited,
and the cat chases its own shadow…
here’s the deal,
we grow out of this planet in the same way a tree grows from the earth, in the language of the universe there is no fear, there is danger, but not fear the way society imposes on itself, restraining itself, limiting individual enthusiasm by labeling, sneering at, and rejecting everything and anything that does not conform to what serves this one track minded view of the world through a religious, and economic point of view.
there is no economic point of view / system in the universe, there is no bargain and no politics. Galaxies eat each other in the universe, planets explode and collide, primates in the jungle fight over territory in the same way primates in the ‘civilized’ world do, except for one tiny detail, we are aware.
it is this awareness deeply centered inside any conscious being, that tells us that the world of man, (living in a settlement called a ‘city’) with its rules and traditions are not the absolute truths of life – and this is what’s causing this whole generation’s state of depression.
Rules in the City – World of Man
depression is an idea that tells us: you are a ‘failure’, which means your are ‘bad’ or ‘ugly’ or even ‘not worthy’. Depression is nothing but a conclusion , a self made conclusion after doing the math in our heads, the math that subtracts rather than adds. it subtracts and deducts,(by comparison) that the current standing of the self, the ‘i’, did not do well enough in a system ruled by laws of scorn and finance and ridicule of others. Depression means: hopelessness in an environment where the rules and truths do not cater to improving the glow of personal individual inner self, instead it focuses on depriving man of his essential basic need to flourish: freedom to be and to shine without judgement.
Universe
in the universe there is no ridicule, no judgement, no politics or negotiations, no hesitation, no lies and deceits, there is nothing but life and death, and nothing but beauty in the process. There is beauty in a green leaf as much as there is in a brown leaf. there’s also beauty watching a pack of wolves tear apart a deer, there is all that and yet there is no judgement or fear of judgement. There is day and night and it’s loud and clear, there is no in-between.
so here we have another set of truths (Universe) that do not break down man or confine him into invisible prisons of fear and anxiousness. On the contrary, the universe whether it is conscious or not, is a place where both positive and negative energies collide, coincide, and overlap – much like day and night. Light and the absence of light, and light comes from combustion, combustion happens when opposing ‘tendencies’ meet, opposing tendencies like good and bad.
good and bad?
back to social.
does the universe know good and bad?
right and wrong?
whether it does or not, it doesn’t change the fact that: it is right to feel right that you exist, that it is right that you flourish and shine in the eyes of the universe. It is only wrong in the world of man, in the city, in this collective game of monopoly.
The universe does not play monopoly,
why are we?
because they are?
why are they?
cuz they don’t know any better,
why are we playing with them a game that is not of our language?
because they gave us this game as the only truth,
but now we know it is not,
Gaia knows..
The greatest addiction we have is to ourselves.
to be addicted to who were are,
everyday repeating ourselves again,
the same pains,
the same glories,
the same stupidities…
the same angers,
and the same disappointments,
the ever recurring syndromes we call the self.
the self that forever yearns for the same things over and over again,
the self that asks for more of the same,
quenches thirst with void,
and feeds hunger with dirt…
questions breeding questions,
and answers never remembered,
forgetfulness a bliss always forgotten,
repetition is the venom.
to find a new self again is like a planet orbiting a very wide arc,
and change happens one millimeter at a time,
such a long way to go for a date,
one that can reconcile both ends,
like poles of a magnet that never attract….
the curve is long,
the arc is wide,
and time drips on, a millisecond at a time…
what comes next is more of the same,
the addiction never wanes,
and deeper still it prevails,
down to the core it digs.
into darkness and heat,
lack of air,
suffocation for identification,
pleasure in the deep,
addiction breeds addiction.
the self grows more complex,
in its demands and needs,
the same broken dreams,
the usual nightmares that ends in a scream…
addiction to comfort,
addiction to a life of pain,
addiction to stress,
addiction to a losing game…
addiction is the same thing all over again,
every detail in one¹s life repeated everyday,
every attraction is an addiction,
every conviction is an addiction
every state of mind is an addiction,
faith is an addiction,
every comfort zone is an addiction,
every source of intensity or pleasure is an addiction.
an opinion is an addiction.
picking fights is an addiction.
Q: what is a human being after all?
A: a bundle of addictions.
every human being is a bundle of addictions.
every characters is a unique blend of addictions.
Pavlov made the most important discovery of the century and that is he put
his finger on the fact that we are made of habits.
a human being, like a dog, can be conditioned to react in any way desired if
one knew what triggers him, and how to manipulate what triggers what in
order to condition.
the ego is the easiest and first thing to offend (trigger)
triggering the ego results with anger.
offending someone¹s faith also attacks the ego and results with an angry
reaction.
demeaning someone¹s opinion results with anger.
just like Pavlov¹s dog, ring this particular bell, and the dog starts
drooling.
caress someone¹s ego, and you¹ll have him floating and loving you and coming
closer to you.
we are all addicted to what gives us a sense of pleasure.
pleasure is always intense.
pleasure is always an intense feeling. if the feeling is not intense enough,
then it¹s not pleasurable enough.
we are addicted to what gives us pleasure.
we are addicted to what gives us intensity.
there is pleasure in every kind of intensity we experience whether it is
stress or anger or laughter or physical or mental or psychoactive or
spiritual or natural…
some of us are addicted to pain and sorrow, for there is also a certain
intensity in the dark.
some of us are addicted to an escape on lucid wings.
some of us are addicted to what causes others pain.
the list is endless and the sources of addiction are infinite.
the question is:
can we consciously choose our addictions?
we can choose some consciously and the rest fall on us unconsciously?
some of them grow with us like flowers and some grow with us like weeds.
can we root out the weeds? All the weeds?
an addiction gives us a sense of continuity,
because an addiction defines a certain pattern in behavior, response,
action, reaction…
this bundle of addiction / action / reaction defines the character you see
in front of you whether is it yourself, your lover, your parent, your
friend, whoever.
when you say you ³KNOW² somebody, it means you are ³FAMILIAR² with the
response, action, reaction of that particular person.
you may also be aware of that person¹s history.
in short, you mean you are familiar with that person¹s addictions to self
love, greed, or joyfulness, benevolence, aggressiveness, actions,
reactions…
so what do you think you know about me?
what do you think you know about yourself?
what do you think you know about the others around you, near and far?
you think you really know?
think again!
it all boils down to
sex and murder,
sex and murder,
repeated over and over,
see that ape in a suit who
rides the same pole every hour,
dying over the illusion of power,
drunk on wine gone sour,
ideas that have long expired,
closed minded closed cycled
and deflowered..
music,
loud,
dark,
fast,
intense,
the lights streaming by,
streaks of red and yellow white,
currents of cold wind against the flesh,
moving fast,
rushing the thrill,
the night whispers,
shadows everywhere,
beautiful darkness…
from darkness comes light,
and back into darkness light goes,
from slavery comes freedom of the mind,
and freedom of the mind leads back to slavery..
slavery is a habit,
more like habits,
fears. obsessions. deadlines. expectations,
quests and questions,
an altered state of mind..
real, unreal, surreal, half real,
a painting is but an illusion,
a story is a movie in the mind,
and eternity lives in a melody…
irony:
in essence,
spirituality implies moderation,
the less for the self,
fasting, giving…
in practice,
society uses the excuse of any celebration to feast in excess,
consumption at its best,
consumption non stop,
consumption to the top…
gluttony celebrates greed,
or is it the unbound love for the self
that cannot rest until it fills the
ever hungry belly of beast…?
beauty,
abundant,
in every face,
in almost every body,
in the shine of glossy lipstick,
carmine red and scarlet lips,
the elegance of fingernails,
curling over the cold glass of a drink,
twirling around the forearm of a stranger,
a cigarette loosely dangles between them,
its whiteness enhancing the blackness around it,
mimicking the sparkle of pearls between parted lips…
parted lips,
painted red,
scarlet red under a white flash of light
crimson red in the dark,
dark, glossy, mysterious, elusive…
When we understand the power that a single idea has over our lives, then we can choose what idea we allow to rule over us.
The most powerful idea would be that every and any small action we do today, gets us one small step closer to our dream of achieving success.. this idea charges us with energy, and this automatically turns our everyday into a success story…
the ‘rational’ fear of deception and failure is also an idea (an automatic assumption) that drains us of energy and hinders our personal progress,
it is precisely this ‘irrational’ boldness of fully believing in the idea that realizing our dream of success is possible, that magically turns our everyday into a daily success story…
a daily success story is as small as a grain of sand, that when piled up one next to the other make a mountain of positivity, and that mountain becomes a source of endless energy that feeds on itself and grows beyond any expectation or measure…
– from darkness comes light, so after the pain of ignorance comes the light of understanding…
the present:
coming from a background of violence
turbulence, disturbance,
identities forged from the rubble left behind by
mental explosions,
shattered emotions,
wars waged within the self,
internal combustion,
self destruction,
daily obstruction…
suffocation breeds determination,
a byproduct of alienation,
desolation,
mental masturbation…
grinding glass – just a metaphor,
chewing words from the mouth of a whore,
screaming for more,
begging for an encore…
consuming pills and brands all the same,
all the while exclaiming that the world has gone insane
dreading tomorrow with yesterday’s pain,
again and again…
27.12.14
running on diesel,
combustion chamber,
feel the heat,
sense the danger,
right in that space
locked tight, air tight,
frozen in constant speed,
locked in that fraction of a second,
there, there are no strangers…
it’s all a dream,
none of it is real,
just a mental stream,
“a dream within a dream”
as Wordsworth put it,
bitter coffee mixed with ice cream…
and here we are in physical form,
monkeys on a pole,
dressed in clothes,
driving cars,
imagining life elsewhere,
making living movies
reveling in music,
killing and dying for ideas,
unaware of anything but joy and pain
crying laughter in the rain,
going against the grain,
with a brain dead set on dissecting all other brains…
monkeys,
living a life of complete mystery
of our origins and why we exist,
monkeys living love and daily lives in
angst and complete wonder.
monkeys,
caged in minds….
ALICE 12.16 2008
“searching for something or someone to show you the way”
looking for answers in every which way,
looking at the sun,
lost between the stars,
reaching out with everything you got,
only to sink back inside…
and then comes the rain,
cold and harsh,
blind to your pain,
your turmoil and daze…
left standing alone in a haze,
with nothing to lean on in any place…
the future unknown
and vision by clouds obscured,
no map, no guide,
not even a small trace…
alice in wonderland,
alice in dubai,
alice left to find her mind…
to make a life,
to dance in the night…
with alice gone,
there’s not much left to do…
sitting at home, waiting for the dawn,
with alice gone,
everything went with her,
she did not see see her home…
gone to live under a different sky,
gone so she can be alone,
away from everything she knew
trying to reach everything new….
but alice had to go,
she would have stayed if only she knew…
if she knew where she was going,
if she had a plan,
if she had a trace,
if she felt safe…
well alice,
i am here for you,
to walk with you if you stay,
to lean on me when you stray,
to fine tune a vision,
to define the path,
to find the will to conquer the day!
who the fuck is alice?
22.12.03
sitting on a hill
where all is green and still
shadows light and the air chill
the sound of the wind, the skies it fills
looking onward and down the plain
seeing the morrow with no pain
loving yesterday and all its gain
waiting for the same feeling….again
a tree lies in the distance brown
hard and dark and stark
its leaves long gone and crumbled away
like the memories of a child in play
how heavy the burden of memories can be
the more they grow the heavier they become
even the good ones with remorse they come
for they are gone and never to again come
“look at me” I yelled at the tree
“tell me who you are, tell me what you see
how do you like to be?
how was your day, tell me about your yesterday…
was it just like today, like everyday?
did the sun visit you and the stars that are far away?
did the moon come and lay its garments at your feet in foreplay?
did the wind bring you news of the day?
and did the birds tell you of lands far away….?”
the tree gazed at me for long days
thinking and pondering what to say
about the questions that at its feet i did lay
finally it made a sign and told me to stay
“look at me you fool
do you see me ever growing old and grey?
do you see me in melancholy at any given day?
do you see me asking and demanding what you say?
do you see me wondering about the morrow or even today?
how do you even ask me about yesterday?
I am eternal as you can see
and in my eternity there a secret lies
it is to gaze at the sun and the stars
and wait for them to come from afar
and in wait lies eternal despair
that when the day comes none of the stars awake
nor get any closer by the day
nor will they smile in foreplay
or bring new life to clay…
if you learn from my speech today
you will know it is the same as yesterday
but you will not be here before the new day
only I in my eternal lay
stand unmoving everyday
always waiting unrelenting
gazing at the sky in the same way.”
24.05.03
to deny the self,
to heed the call,
to follow the narrow trail
to fall down and decay.
to dim down the light,
to forget the way
to become deaf
to ease the pain.
to love?
to face your own
to want, to suffer
to descend from a higher feeling
to fall from a state of mind,
to follow a decaying feeling and,
to forget a deeper meaning
to accept mortality
to become human
to harden in the flesh
to cease being a god
So drink!
Drink of the fountain everlasting
Drown!
In an ocean of the self
The dividing line
between lust and greed
and as all lights turn to green
suffocate in greed
deny the self and breed
so drink!
drink of the fountain everlasting
and drown
in the sea unending
abuse the self again
and pretend to be weak…
23.09.03
shatter the brain in a quest
to resolve the mystery of death
unveil the bond within
reveal the truth herein
defy your god and sin
ignore your family and kin
survive alone and win
raise hell within
twist the arms of the self
ride over fear in fury
raise hell within
do it, and do it purely
….and then a full day passes,
a break
a one of its kind since the last few,
words spoken but still i knew,
that daring is new to you…
the adventure calls to you
but you fear the consequence
living only in its shadow
and slow decadence
obscured by fear
don’t fade away
reduced to nothing
but the words you say
live up——-dare
adventure is life
but never fair
25.08.04
what now after all this
what now after what went
what now after what will be?
what now after what’s gone
what now after what\s been said
what now after fear?
what now time of change
what now to fear
what now to change?
what now after all these years
what now after all the tears
what now ……….. what yields?
curly black hair
dark gazing eyes
a questioning mind
a cradle for the wise
a seduction to the eye..
milky white skin
smooth and refined
tempted by a touch and left with a scar
a reminder of the child
a calling to the wild
the fall from grace
the ascension to a higher feeling
to touch the face
and heal the bleeding
the lustful stare
the secret gaze
the feeling burning
fed by the urge and the yearning
the thin red line so carefully tread
unveiled by words so delicately woven
from emptiness it fled
the silence,………. finally broken
What about?
How is it possible to modify a jet?
The answer is simple, it lies in the banana jar, where else can it be?
What about the carrot?
How yellow it can sometimes be!
What about the jaguar?
How unlucky he can sometimes be!
What about the pain?
How addictive it can always be!
What about the jam?
What a sweet killer, it stings like a bee!
What about the darkness?
Such Bliss!
WHat about solitude?
What a school!
What about the anger?
Such fuel!
What about the madness?
What a cure!
What about tranquillity?
What a pity!
What about pity?
What a waste!
What about sadness?
Self inflicted.
What about thirst?
That is true hunger!
What about the dog?
Look into your own past.
What about the dream?
It is the magic carpet.
What about reality?
It’s what’s in your mind!
And frailty?
Again in your mind!
What about the olive?
You only eat its skin…
What about people?
They make you who you are!
And your neighbor?
He hates what you are!
What about your family?
They deny how you are!
Tell me of your mother?
I became her Ken*
Tell me about your father.
He made me in his image.
What about God?
He always comes too late!
What about Christ?
He became a reason.
What about religion?
It is a ritual.
What about fasting?
a down payment!
What about feasting?
Shared guilt.
And dreaming?
Hardly lived.
Screaming?
A desperate display of presence.
What about aggression?
It is the will to power!
And passion?
That is the true power!
What about love?
A sweet obsession!
What about the heartache?
The sweetness of obsession.
What about sickness?
A vicious circle.
What about music?
Inspiration and a distraction!
What about cable?
The Opium of the masses!
What about time?
The real cash money!
What about the truth?
A life saver!
What about destiny?
A day dream…
What about the future?
Justly hidden away.
What about the snail?
It lingers on its way.
And the trees?
A healer for the soul.
And the water?
Magic in its own.
What about the leaves?
Food for the mind!
And the tears?
Only reserved for the dramatic scenes of our lives.
What about you?
I am what I let you make me.
What about me?
There is no you.
And them?
They made you.
What about the ones I do not know?
They do not exist!
What about the flower?
It blooms.
What about the garden?
The promise of life.
What about death?
A waste of life.
What about motherhood?
A reason for life.
What about life?
A treason to the idea of life.
What about hope?
The only mover of life.
What about vision?
An illusion.
And television?
The illusion of illusion.
What about illusion?
Real life.
What about substitution?
An institution.
What about truth?
Always silent.
And silence?
Golden.
What about friendship?
A placebo.
What about chocolate?
A passion!
What about passion?
I told you it’s real power!
What about Gays?
A distortion!
What about females?
A distraction.
And males?
Cannibals.
What about politics?
A social disaster!
And the camels?
These are all the people!
What about the frog, the lizard and the rabbit?
These are cartoon characters!
What about disaster?
A window cleaner!
What about pleasure?
The result of masochism.
What about daylight?
Blinding
And the night?
Secure
What about clothes?
A shelter
What about greed?
A weakness
What about movies?
A brain washer
What about the moon?
A round light
What about the wind?
A traveller
What about words?
A trial
What about suffering?
Well deserved
What about killing?
Justified
What about peace?
Only in the mind.
What about the mind?
A trip.
What about guilt?
Payment due.
What about money?
An excuse.
What about charity?
It varies.
What about angels?
They shine.
What about failure?
Unforgivable.
What about time?
The currency of life.
What about you?